disdelusioned | Songerein Inbox

[Diluc allows Thoma the space to react to the revelation that he's been asleep for a month. It's no doubt disorienting, and probably unnerving to boot. If he were in his position, he probably wouldn't take the news even half as well.

Gently, he places his hand over Thoma's on his arm and gives a light squeeze to help anchor his love a bit more firmly.]

Everything is fine. You picked a relatively uneventful month to sleep through.

["Relatively" because he's all but certain that there's been some degree of shenanigans and strangeness. There always is. But there hasn't been anything so pressing or alarming that it's taken Diluc's focus off of his duties here.

When Thoma asks for Ori - which of course he does, given her radiant presence in their lives - Diluc takes another breath to deliver more unpleasant news.]

She isn't here. She went home, temporarily and of her own volition, to attend to some loose ends that have been bothering her regarding her sister and her friends. She should be back in a few days.

[Diluc says all of this with full confidence, and as far as the part that Ori is able to control he has full faith in her word. She promised to return, and he believes that promise.

But just like Thoma's sleep coma, there's that hint of what if that comes with the unpredictable nature of this world. Thoma doesn't need to hear that, however, so Diluc suppresses that entirely.]

It took me the better part of the month to convince her to go for her own peace of mind. I had hoped that she would be back before you woke up, but I see it wasn't meant to be.

[ This is all rather a lot for having just woken up from what he thought was a single night's sleep, and Thoma can't help but look honestly distressed for a fraction of a moment. However, the expression is there and gone again as his sleepy mind sharpens into focus. He is nothing if not good at rolling with the punches, and though Diluc has hit him with quite the one-two, he takes a steadying breath, shakes the remaining sleep from his head, and looks Diluc square in the eyes with something a little more grounded in his expression.

While there is certainly an element of the unknown in Ori's decision to return home, he chooses to believe that their starlight will find them again. ]

I see. I'm glad that you were able to talk her into it. I know it's been bothering her for a while.

[ His hand leaves Diluc's arm, if only so it can come to rest on his cheek instead. Thoma tilts his head a little, expression softening. ]

How are you doing?

[Thoma collects himself rather quickly, especially given the circumstances. But he is nothing if not flexible and adaptable--traits that Diluc greatly admires in him. There will be time to apprise him of what he's missed later, when he's had time to percolate and Diluc has had time to sleep.

When Thoma's expression softens, so too does Diluc's. He slides his now-freed arm around Thoma's waist.]

I've been worse.

[He's also been better, if the dark circles under his eyes are any indication. But Thoma waking up has improved his mood significantly. The loneliness of the past few days ebbs away, and he pointedly ignores the exhaustion so that he can spend time with his sunlight.]

I'm not going to even attempt to lie to you. I've hardly slept since keeping watch over you became a single-person duty. Aether's been by a few times to alleviate the burden somewhat, but even then I wouldn't say I slept well.

[Cat naps don't really count as sleeping.]

Edited (I hecked up the html) 2022-06-07 02:15 (UTC)

[ Well, he can’t argue with that. He’s seen Diluc in much, much worse condition than this, but that doesn’t make his concern lessen. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and his moonlight confirms as much a moment later. Thoma frowns at him. ]

I was asleep. What did you think was going to happen?

[ And he quickly decides he doesn’t need to know the answer to that, shaking his head. ]

Anyway, I’m awake now. You should get some rest.

You were vulnerable.

[That's all that needs to be said, especially since Thoma seems to course correct almost immediately after asking the question. They both know how paranoid Diluc's mind can be. There's no need to get into the specific scenarios he's come up with over the course of his vigil.]

I've been awake this long. I'll survive a little longer.

[With that, he leans in to press a light, brief kiss to Thoma's lips. He knows this is a losing fight, but he has every intention of dragging out this good morning conversation out as long as possible before the issue of sleep is forced upon him.

He's missed Thoma quite a bit this past month.]

Is there anything you need?

[ No, he doesn't need to know any more than that. Diluc's mind is prone to jumping to the worse case scenario more often than not, which might mean that he's prepared for anything, but also means that he might not lead the most... healthy lifestyle. ]

Oh, Diluc...

[ His moonlight's name comes out on a sigh, exasperated but still undeniably fond. He accepts that kiss gladly, his fingers curling into the front of Diluc's shirt to keep him close. ]

Anything I need? You, in bed.

Sleeping.

[It's a labor of love, being ever-vigilant as he is. He's unlearning the worst of it, but he's still prone to slipping into bad habits with the best of intentions.

Diluc really should have seen Thoma's answer coming. The fact that he didn't is a sign that he should get some sleep despite his stubbornness saying otherwise. His sunshine will still be there when he awakes.

Time to give in before Thoma ties him down to the bed or something.]

All right, all right. I'll sleep.

[He gives a gentle squeeze before letting Thoma go.]

We can catch up later.

[ After only a few minutes of being awake, Thoma is slipping right back into the his role as caretaker and voice of reason. The fact that Diluc seems not to expect it is really a testament to how tired he is.

Thoma chuckles softly, scooting over in the bed and tugging at the hem of Diluc's shirt to join him. ]

I never said I was going anywhere. I'll sit with you until you fall asleep. You've been watching over me all this time, so it's the least I can do.

[Well, that's an offer that Diluc cannot resist. He slides into the covers next to Thoma, helping himself to one last kiss before lying down.]

Thank you. I promise I won't keep you for too long, sunlight.

[It's a joke, but one with no small amount of truth in it. Diluc doesn't think he'll be awake for very long now that his head has hit the pillow.

Now that he no longer has to keep his guard up in the name of Thoma's safety, he allows himself to relax fully. The position he takes next to Thoma is physically and emotionally comfortable, and true to his own expectations he drifts off to sleep within minutes.]

[ Thoma also suspected that Diluc would be out cold the second his head hit the pillow, allowing himself to relax now that the possibility of danger has passed. He stays by his moonlight’s side for a while, gently carding his fingers through Diluc’s hair as he slips deeper into sleep.

Once Diluc’s breathing has evened out and he’s soundly snoozing, Thoma eases himself out of bed. For a small mercy, it doesn’t feel like he’s been asleep for a month, but he does still take the time to freshen up with a shower and a meal, all while sorting through the new memories that have made a home in his head.

Part of him wonders if he dreamed it, but the more he thinks on it, the more real it seems, and he realizes he must have really gone back home while his dream self stayed here, unconscious.

In any case, whenever Diluc wakes, he’ll find Thoma having taken up his spot at the side of the bed, working quietly on his latest knitting project, chair tipped back to rest on two legs. ]

[Diluc's sleep is deep and dreamless. It doesn't last nearly long enough to undo the damage he's done by hardly sleeping for a week, but he still feels relatively refreshed when he returns to consciousness around lunch time. Despite every bone and muscle wanting to rest more, he decides that it's actually in his best interest to get up rather than sleep the whole day away. He can sleep more tonight and try to get himself back onto something of a regular sleep schedule.

Which is laughably laudable, given that "regular sleep schedule" is something that he's never been well-acquainted with. But he can try.

The soft clicking of needles catches his attention as his eyes blink open, and for several moments he simply watches Thoma fondly as he knits. Moments like these, gentle and domestic and simply slice-of-life, are moments he never thought he could have. He treasures them, and doubly so after Thoma's been asleep for a month. He's missed him, just as he currently misses Ori. It's amazing what finally allowing oneself to rest and heal can bring.

Finally, he speaks up:]

You didn't have to stay in here with me, Thoma.

[But he's happy that he did.]

[ Thoma will ensure that they both crash into bed at a decent hour tonight, even if Thoma feels like he might not need the sleep after a whole month of the stuff. Diluc will no doubt sleep better with a pair of arms around him.

He smiles softly at Diluc, and though his eyes are on the man on the bed, he continues to work with the yarn, fingers moving with well-practiced motions. ]

I know.

[ Simple, amused. Diluc didn’t have to sit with him the whole time he was unconscious, either, but he chose to do it anyway. This is the very least Thoma can do. ]

You look like you’re feeling a bit better. How about some tea? I have some things I want to tell you about.

[That sounds about right for Thoma. Diluc smiles slightly as he sits up and stretches before pulling the covers off of him.]

Tea sounds good, thanks.

[Although the "some things I want to tell you about" catches hold of his curiosity as they get up and relocate to the kitchen. Does Thoma mean his dreams? Diluc can't imagine what else it could be--he's been asleep, so it's not like there are major developments in his life to share.

Right?

Once they sit at the table with their tea, Diluc opens the conversation.]

What's on your mind?

To be honest, I’m not sure how to say this without sounding crazy. [ He laughs a little. He knows how that sounds, especially given where they are right now. ] But I think I went home for a little while when I was sleeping.

I have these new memories, things I remember from home, that I didn’t have when I went to sleep. I thought it could be a dream, but the more I think of it, the more real it seems.

[A few moments pass as Diluc digests that information and considers its implications. Thoma's right; it does sound crazy. But not so crazy that it's impossible, especially given the dream-like logic of this world. There's no reason for Diluc not to take this statement at face value.]

I didn't realize that dreaming a return to our waking selves was possible. Although, in hindsight, perhaps I should have.

[One day he'll know this world well enough to predict its patterns, damn it.]

What happened when you went back to Inazuma?

[ He can see those gears turning in Diluc’s head, but he’s glad that they’re relationship is such that Diluc trusts his judgment. ]

A lot of things, mostly day-to-today stuff but…

[ He smiles, the expression bright – it’s clear that whatever comes next is what Thoma wanted to share the most. He reaches over the table to clasp Diluc's hands in his own. ]

The Sakoku Decree has been lifted! Inazuma’s borders are open again!

[Even without the assistance of dreamotion, Thoma's smile lights up the room. It's a joy to see even in normal circumstances. After a month without it, that fact is even more true.

And it's with good reason, as it turns out. The Raiden Shogun has come to her senses at long last.

(He can't help but suspect that a certain mutual friend of theirs has something to do with this development.)]

That's excellent news.

[He squeezes Thoma's hands affectionately, mirroring Thoma's bright expression as best as his own more reserved nature allows. There are implications to this bit of news that go beyond the freedom of movement of Inazuma's people, and they both know it.]

I'll have to seek you out when it's my turn to pass out for a month and return home, sunlight.

[He's kind of joking, at least about the 'passing out for a month' part. Probably.]

[ Oh, Thoma doesn’t know the details, but he would bet good mora that Lumine is absolutely the reason that the Shogun finally saw the light. He probably owes Aether a thank you for much the same reason.

He laughs, the sound throwing up bright motes of light into the air. Archons, he can only imagine how Diluc has been faring on his own these last few days, and so he’s happy to be back here, providing light and warmth and a hand to hold. ]

What I’d really prefer is whenever we both leave this place for good one day, that we can find each other in the waking world too.

… I’d forgotten all of this while I was home, but I still couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. I just know that if we see each other again, everything would fall back into place.

[Diluc was fine these past few days! Sure, he was lonely and didn't sleep and was paranoid that something was going to jump Thoma in the night, but...

Okay, Diluc wasn't fine. But he wouldn't do things any differently. And after some rest, he's feeling a lot better--a fact that's punctuated by a certain firebird that's now settling in on Thoma's head.]

I'm inclined to agree. I refuse to believe that this - [He gestures vaguely at the entirety of their surroundings.] - is something we'll ever be rid of. I'll fight the tapir and the Archons both if I have to to keep it.

[Somewhere in town, Venti sneezes.]

You matter a lot to me. Both of you do.

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