disdelusioned | Songerein Inbox

[ It has been an incredibly long night.

Ori has departed rather hurriedly, accompanied by one of Eustace and Tifa's dogs who had frantically called out for her at their door. Like Diluc has seen before, her quiet strength steels her in the moment, bidding her to act in spite of the fears and uncertainties in her heart.

"Stay here, in case something starts happening in town. I'll be back soon," she tells Diluc before she takes the form of a giant owl and flies away into the night, towards a snowy peak in the distance around which a storm swirls relentlessly.

But it's a long, long while before she finally returns, the appearance of a circle of arcane light appearing in their living room the only signal before she appears along with Eustace, Tifa, and everyone else who had been spurred into action. The moments after seem to happen in a blur: Ori and others checking on everyone, Eustace declaring that he and Tifa can no longer marry, and the collective displeasure it earns from everyone who'd just risked their lives to help the two, because they all believe that the two deserve a chance at happiness here.

Before long, they all seem to disperse, eventually seeking solace and space in their own homes, needing to process everything they were made to experience tonight.

For her part, Oriphi feels... exhausted, perhaps more than she's anticipating given how accustomed she is to long journeys and arduous combat. There's a nagging pain at her side that she's pointedly ignoring; perhaps she simply twisted something, because she's already cast healing spells to take care of injuries... Still, it doesn't stop her from rummaging around in the house, trying to collect various ingredients for healing potions, even as her body is beginning to slow and shut down. ]

If I start now, I can have potions ready for everyone by the morning...

[True to Ori's instructions, Diluc has remained on alert in Reverein in case something makes its way into town from where the fighting is happening. Luckily, all that's required is his vigilance. The town remains peaceful, and most of its residents sleep through the night completely unaware of what's transpiring.

It's not until the group of them arrives, battered and exhausted, that he learns the full truth of what's happened. From there, he stays out of the way except to help Ori tend to wounds and make sure everyone is offered food and water. He wasn't there for the worst of it, and it isn't his business besides. Although he quietly hopes that Eustace and Tifa figure things out from here, for their own sakes, he says nothing to the effect. He doesn't know Eustace well, and he knows Tifa less.

Gradually, their home empties until it's just the two of them and Ori can finally get some much-needed rest. When his beloved begins to gather supplies instead, he walks up behind her and gently takes hold of her arms.]

You should be doing no such thing. You need to rest and recover.

But—

[ Protest sits at the tip of her tongue... and is momentarily lost as she feels her body wanting to ease into Diluc's touch. She really is more tired than she thought she would be. Still— ]

It's fine. I don't need to rest, moonlight. I can cast more spells for that...

[ Never mind that she's already cast quite a few today. ]

You can, but you shouldn't.

[There's a bit of hypocrisy in this, and he knows that. Were he in her position, he would be protesting in exactly the same manner. He can keep going. He can handle it. He'll rest later.

And Ori wouldn't let him get away with it. The least he can do is step in as she would.]

All you're going to do is burn yourself out. And then you're helpful to no one, least of all yourself.

[ Finally, her heart and soul and body seem to still at his words as she stands there and receives this reminder of how similar she and Diluc really can be, at times. She knows, as she listens to what he says, that she would be saying the same things to him, were their roles reversed. ]

I...

[ She's been on the receiving end of similar lectures from her friends in the past; they were right in the past, and in this moment Diluc is right, too. But...

I have to protect her... She can't leave me again.

The nightmarish sound of Eustace's voice when he was a Noctaere echoes in her head. Ori turns around to face Diluc, hands instinctively coming up to curl against his chest as she finally lets go of that last bit of energy keeping her going and keeping her composed through everything. ]

I'm really worried about Eustace and Tifa... What we saw in there, Diluc— It wasn't right... But I...

[ But she couldn't help but feel like she could understand why he did it. ]

[Ori relents and turns to face him, and in turn Diluc pulls her in close. He can only begin to imagine what must be running through her head right now. Nightmare energy is a force to be reckoned with in its own right; coupling that with the well-being of someone she cares about makes it that much worse.]

I know you are.

[Eustace (and by extension, Tifa) has all of his sympathy. He's nearly succumbed to nightmare energy and knows just how insidious it is. How it twists what's in one's heart and lies. But to him, Ori's well being matters just a bit more right now.]

I'm here for whatever you need, starlight. Just say the word.

[ She doesn’t know what she needs. She wants the answer to the ever-lingering question of how to prevent someone from turning. She wants to make sure her friends are okay, especially the youngest two who were with them tonight. She wants to make sure this never happens again, not to anyone and especially not to anyone she’s come to care about.

She wishes Thoma was still here.

But she doesn’t know what she needs. She only knows that she doesn’t want to Diluc to let go of her. She burrows her face into his chest, welcoming the warmth of his embrace after a long harrowing while in the bitter cold of those icy caverns, and the lids of her eyes fall heavily in exhaustion as she tries to find some semblance of comfort.

Only that, as soon as she closes her eyes, as soon as she sees darkness, the nightmares come back. The large, hulking lupine form enshrouded in darkness that Eustace became. The sharp fangs that bit into her without regard for who she was, like he didn't even know her. The glow of his eyes as he emerged from a pool of black, saturated in shadow. His eerie smile, the sickening and twisted tone of his voice as he declared, Tifa... Just wait there. I'll get rid of them all and take you home soon.

The moment when, for just a flash, she saw Diluc in that waking nightmare in place of Eustace.

Her hands grasp almost desperately against her moonlight and - as close as he’s holding her, as troubled as she is by what she’d seen tonight - a sharp, searing pain lances through her side and she chokes out her words. ]

D-Diluc— it hurts—

[ Why the hell does it hurt? She’d cast her healing magic, even tried to use dreamotion, and yet—

She pulls away just enough to look down at her side. There’s nothing to indicate that she had been wounded there. Surely, there are rips and cuts on other parts of her attire, but the skin beneath each tear has since been healed over by her druidic magic. And yet there’s clearly something wrong. The panic is plain on Ori’s face as she watches dark, inky wisps of nightmare energy begin to seep out of the seams of her corset. It feels almost as if she's drowning and gasping for air while echoes ring through her mind.

You try, and try, and try to protect and to heal, but all you do is hurt. You take. You are a burden. And you let everyone down each and every time you try. ]

H—Help…

[That Ori reacts to his tightened hold alarms him, and he immediately releases her so that he can look her over. The cause, unfortunately, is obvious.

The darkness that seeps out from under her corset causes his blood to run cold. Diluc knows what this is, and he knows what it means. One glance at her face - and the expression he finds etched across her features - confirms what he fears. Nightmare energy is infecting her, seeping into some unnoticed wound. Much like it had done to him, on a miserable night months before.

Inwardly, he's panicking a bit. But he makes it a point to maintain a strong demeanor, for her sake.]

I've got you.

[He promises before tearing the corset off of her and pulling up her blouse to see where the infliction point is. There's marks on her side that suggest a bite wound, although there's no visible injury, and he rests a hand there atop of them.]

I need you to listen to me, Oriphi. Focus on my voice.

[He begins to focus his dreamotion energy at the source of infection, remembering how he trained with Kazuma's nightmare-infected scales... and remembering how Ori and Thoma both did the same for him.]

[ A pang of guilt quickly winds its way around Ori’s heart as Diluc looks her over. She knows that he must be panicking, despite his apparent collectedness, and she’s so sorry for it.

And yet, the moment that she hears his words - I’ve got you - she’s unable to deny even the smallest bit of comfort that it brings. When she looks back at this moment later, whenever it is that she might finally rest, perhaps she will realize that this is what she needs: the reassurance that Diluc has her. That he is here, hale and whole, full of fire and warmth. He isn’t what she saw in the cave crawling out of the icy lake.

She closes her eyes and winces as he does away with her corset and lifts the fabric of her blouse to inspect the wound. This pain at her side has been eating away at her ever since the confrontation with Eustace began, and as she opens her eyes to look at where Diluc presses his hand against her, the realization hits. Bite marks.

Ori has neither the words nor the energy to explain how confounding (and honestly, terrifying) it is that an injury she received while she was in the form of another creature has persisted on her body proper - but Diluc, not a moment to soon, begins to draw the infection of lingering nightmare energy out.

Her hand finds his, clutching at it in anguish as she lets out a shaky breath to keep herself from screaming. Much like when she and Thoma had flushed the nightmare energy out of his wound with their light, it hurts. It hurts in a way that she has never experienced, even from all of her years as a mercenary then as an adventurer. She lifts her head to look up at Diluc, but—

You couldn’t even protect your friends today. You’re so weak. And you will never be strong enough to find them in the waking world.

— the nightmare energy she’s been exposed to is just too much. It was in every crevice of the caverns, in the bite of the cold air, every spark of lightning that coursed through. Her knees buckle as her other hand grabs onto the fabric of his shirt. ]

I— I can’t…

[Ori's pained reaction to the dreamotion flowing from his hand is both a terrible sight and a relief. He hates seeing her flinch and just barely hold back a cry. She's suffered enough tonight, and part of him can't help but feel a little like he's the one adding this extra pain to the pile. But logically he knows that it's necessary. Moreover, it's a good thing; it means what he's doing is working, and that this nightmare infection isn't too fundamentally different from the one Ori and Thoma drew out of him.

Even so, his heart breaks when she looks up at him. The torment is obvious. Had he looked so broken and lost when they crouched over him in that dark alleyway?

She buckles under the enormity of it, and Diluc is quick to grab her waist with his free arm and catch her. Slowly, carefully, he lowers them both to their knees.]

You can, starlight. I know you can.

[He doesn't release her side, and he doesn't let up on the dreamotion he's flowing over the darkness that's trying to consume her. It looks like flames, warm and protective as it wraps around her waist.

Once he's sure she won't topple over, unwinds his other arm from her and cups her cheek, pointing her face to his. Silently, he wishes Thoma were here to help him to talk her down. Out of the three of them, he is the one most open with his feelings and most comfortable with his words. He'd know what to say.

At least where Diluc has something he can draw on in their sunlight's absence: his own experience. He's been here. He knows how this feels. And he's willing to leverage that the best he can.]

The voice in your head is lying to you. It's dark and miserable, trying to drag you under. I know.

[Behind him, his firebird spawns unnoticed and flies over to land on her head, settling in her hair and nuzzling gently.]

Don't let it. You are Oriphi, a powerful druid and a member of the Alchemighty. You saved your sister, and you saved your world. You are a force of nature, beautiful and nurturing and unyielding and ferocious. You've been through hell, and you still stand, still you're able find it in yourself to let people in and to care. I am in awe of you. I always have been.

And... more than all that, you're my precious starlight. The night sky would be lonely indeed without you there to keep me company.

[His voice breaks, ever so slightly.]

Hold onto me as long you need. Just don't drown. Please.

Edited 2022-09-07 21:33 (UTC)

[ The sound of his voice in itself is a precious lifeline; it’s strong and steadfast just as he is, and it beckons her back into reality slowly but surely. She can’t hear his words so clearly through the pain, but he makes her want to hear, to listen, and that will surely help her find her way.

It gets just a bit easier once they’re kneeling and warmth continues to flood through her, seemingly melting away the lingering, nightmarish frost she’s been unwittingly carrying with her all night. Her hand loosens and lets go of his shirt and instead pulls his hand away from her cheek— but only so she can lace their fingers together. She needs to feel anchored to him. She needs every reminder that he’s not going to let her go. He’s not going to leave her in the cold.

When he next speaks, she can hear him more clearly, and as soon as his words reach her, she realizes what he’s doing. The voice in your head is lying to you - it doesn’t escape her, how his words echo those of their beloved and dearly missed sunshine.

”I don’t know where that nasty little voice in your head that tells you that you’re not worthy came from, but I’m here to tell it that it’s wrong. We both are.”

He had said it first when Ori confided her feelings in them, telling them both that she didn’t feel like she deserved to be with them. And he’d said it, too, in that dark alleyway as they narrowly brought Diluc back from the brink.

”I don’t know what that nasty voice in your head is telling you, but I’m here to tell it that it’s wrong. We both are.”

Somehow, she manages to laugh fondly at the realization, so softly to the point that it’s barely audible; tears begin to stream down her face, but they don’t seem to be tears borne out of sorrow. Diluc’s firebird nuzzles her, and she lets herself feel relief. The pain of the healing process persists necessarily, but because of Diluc, because of her moonlight… It’s alright. She knows it’s going to be alright.

Clarity floods into her eyes as she’s able to really look at him again, amber finding a bright, brilliant red, and his warmth finds its way to her chest as long last. Each and every thing he says is a healing word that stamps out the insidious voices of her nightmares and she can feel herself getting closer and closer to the surface until she can finally breathe again.

”The sun and stars need their moon. How else will we find our way through the dark?”

She had remembered those words in the depths of Eustace’s waking nightmare earlier, too, and of course she remembers them now as Diluc beautifully recounts Thoma’s words in his own way. She is so lucky, she thinks. Her sun and her moon are always saving and protecting her, even when one of them is no longer here. Just as she is his precious starlight, he is her beloved moonlight. And the while the moon may wax and wane, it is always there even in the darkness, staunch and resolute and unyielding. Right now, as she listens to him, as his words fill her heart to bursting and her eyes with more joyous, grateful tears, he shines for her in this dark, cold and harrowing night. And with his words, he promises her the dawn. She falls in love with him all the more for it. ]

I… I won’t. I won’t drown…

[ She knows that he would never let her. Her moon would pull the tides and her along with them. His voice breaks - almost imperceptibly so - and it's that which pulls her back to shore, bids her to let go of his hands so that she can reach up to pull his face towards hers, pressing their foreheads together. She is grateful for him, certainly, but she is also so proud of him, knowing that his strengths aren't typically in healing, and that he has been faced with doing this without Thoma here to be their sun.

The last of the nightmare energy begins to dissipate into the air like ashes. ]

You’re doing wonderfully, my moonlight. Thank you...

Edited (nO I DIDN'T LIKE IT x3) 2022-09-14 18:07 (UTC)

[Diluc follows her lead as he pours every bit of dreamotion he has into her, squeezing her hand comfortingly when she takes his and leaning in close when she pulls their foreheads together. He'll do anything he can to keep her head above water. Thankfully, she manages to slowly but surely make her way back to shore.]

You're the one who's doing wonderfully, beloved. I'm merely a tether.

[If Ori is proud of him, he is exponentially prouder of her. She's the one who had to fight tonight, and he knows how difficult of a fight it is.

The last of the nightmare energy fades, leaving her skin raw and irritated and tender--but distinctly hers. He slowly exhales, releasing the tension that had been building up inside of him over the last several minutes.

Then he wraps his arms around her in earnest, pulling her close and simply holding onto her.]

[ He pulls her in, and she wraps her arms around him in turn, angling her head slightly so that she can press a soft, reverent kiss to the corner of his eye.

He’s so warm, she thinks, and after having spent so long in those icy wastes this evening… It’s just what she needs. It’s perfect. He’s perfect. Ori nuzzles his hair, drawing in a deep breath as she tightens her arms around him like she never wants to let go. ]

I… I fell unconscious at one point. When I came back to, I was still hearing voices, but… I heard your voice, too, Diluc. You were welcoming me home. So I knew…

[ She buries her face into his shoulder, her voice coming out small and muffled against his shirt. ]

I knew I had to come back to you… Because you’re my home.

[He doesn't want to let her go any more than she wants to let go of him, and his first reaction to her words, heartfelt and soft and filled with more wamrth than he has in his whole body, is to hold her closer and rub her back gently.]

As you are mine, starlight. Even before I realized it. Even before I wanted to admit it.

[He stops short of saying that, in a way, she's been his home since they first met. But there's truth to the sentiment; the first thing she offered him was a bit of normalcy and company when he was still so disoriented and irritated from his arrival. Ori has always been a stablizing force, from that afternoon onward.

In this moment, he makes a decision that he should have made earlier. He remembers Eustace's warning about keeping Ori out of the loop as far as his plans. What's happened tonight is a worst case scenario, and Diluc is not so naive as to believe it can't happen to him. It almost has once, and by poking around where he intends to he's putting himself at greater risk.

If they are each other's homes, then they need to be honest. And they need to work on the seemingly insurmountable obstacle of their separate worlds together.]

There's something I need to tell you. I refuse to accept that our limited time in this dream world is the only way we can be together. I intend to figure out, by whatever means necessary, how to reach you. Or how to have you reach us.

[By which he means him and their sunlight. Thoma is a part of this too, even if he's no longer here.]

We can get into the details another time, after we've slept and you've had some time to truly decompress. But after tonight... I want you to know that I'm going to find a way home to you, no matter what.

[ Oriphi hums, fingers curling and tightening around fabric on his back at his words. Even before Thoma’s birthday, before they saw the worst of each other in their nightmares, before even the mistletoe gumdrops forced them closer together… She has always been drawn to him. She hadn’t known, when amber first met scarlet in an innocuous meeting over tea, that their paths would be irrevocably entwined from that moment on, that he would change her life so wholly. After all, she was simply meeting Diluc. Not Diluc of Mondstadt, or Diluc Ragnvindr of Dawn Winery, or the Darknight Hero. Just Diluc, a man who likes his tea plain sometimes, but quite sweet other times. Who likes birds of prey. Who stays up late and wakes up early. Who fights and fights and fights to protect. Who wants nothing more than to bear the darkness so that others may live in the light.

Who, in spite of that, became her moonlight, guiding her through the dark of the night so that she could see dawn.

She can’t help but think of what she had seen of Eustace and Tifa tonight. Their pledge to one another - though twisted it became in the waking nightmare - to always keep each other safe. And of Eustace’s dream…

There’s no small part of her who, in that moment, wants to look into Diluc’s eyes and find that same devotion. She knows she would, with all of her heart, and she would give him the same. And she would make the same pledge. She’s sure of it, now more than ever. Then, when they find Thoma again somehow, someway, he would, too— ]

Diluc…?

[ —but her moonlight forges on. Her eyes widen and although they cannot see each other’s faces positioned as they are, her gaze falls on each and every single reminder of their life together here in this home as he speaks. Their boots by the door, the scarves Thoma had made them hanging on a rack. Plants everywhere, flowers that remind him of Mondstadt growing in pots and kept in vases everywhere. His books and paperwork and her journals of pressed flowers on the table. Of course he has been thinking about how to protect all of this, and even beyond that— how to chase this dream even once they’ve woken up from it. Thinking of that eventuality twists at her heart and she exhales a quivering breath as she nuzzles into his shoulder again. ]

…Me, too. No matter what. We’ll find each other.

[ Which is to say, she has very much been drowning in her own thoughts on the matter, albeit differently. She has no concrete intentions to find or fight gods. But she does intend to grow stronger, however she can, so that she can harness the kind of magical energy that she knows would make what they both want possible. But if they are to have any hope of succeeding… ]

We have to figure it out together, okay…? Please don’t run off on your own. If something were to happen to you like last time, or like what happened to Eustace tonight… I don’t know if I would be strong enough, moonlight. I don’t want to see you in that much pain…

[Diluc has every confidence that Ori would be strong enough to handle herself if the worst were to happen to him. But to force her to do so, knowing that he can possibly prevent it, is a cruelty he could never inflict on her.

Tonight has been a stark reminder of what can happen when he shuts her out. In the aftermath of their shared grief over Thoma's departure, he'd allowed himself to forget. Even if he believes that keeping things to himself is for her own good, it isn't. Not here, and not ever.]

I'm not running off anywhere. We're doing this together, or not at all.

[He loosens his hold on her, rubbing up and down her arms a few times before letting go entirely.]

We should head to bed. You, especially, have had a long night.

I…

[ She’s honestly not sure if she’ll be able to sleep tonight. But for Diluc’s sake… She’d like to try. ]

Okay. I suppose the potions can wait until tomorrow morning…

[ A distinguished little bark erupts beside the two then - the source of it being Cadoc, the oldest of Eustace and Tifa’s corgis who seems to have elected to stay in this home in the aftermath of it all. Though Ori hasn’t cast her animal-speaking spell and is too tired to at this point, something about the corgi’s demeanor suggests that he’s of the same mind as Diluc. ]

Hah. I think Cadoc agrees with you, moonlight. And, um... Will you help me up, please?

That makes it two against one.

[Vespera gets no vote because he's not here.]

Of course I'll help you up.

[He does one better, actually. After he gets to his feet, he reaches down and scoops her off the floor entirely and starts carrying her to the bedroom. Cadoc and Diluc's firebird follow behind.]

[ Sorry, Vespera, wherever you are.

Ori isn't startled in the least when Diluc sweeps her off of her feet and carries her into their room; even if she had been, she's simply too tired to react properly. She nuzzles his neck and hums against him while he carries her. ]

I'm glad you're always so warm. It was really cold where we were...

[ Once they reach the threshold into the bedroom, Cadoc picks a spot somewhere in the corner to lay down, his hind legs outstretched across the floor. Ori quietly gestures for Diluc to set her back onto her feet, if only so she can take off the rest of the gear she still has on; it wouldn't do to fall asleep with light armor on when she doesn't have to. When it comes to getting dressed, though, she lazily reaches for the first garment she sees: one of Diluc's shirts. With that accomplished, she softly pads her way over to wherever he is and simply presses in close however she can. Her voice comes out small and sleepy, though still tinged with some worry. ]

Diluc...?

[Right. It's a difference between himself and Eustace--the latter's power comes from ice, not fire. The natural warmth he carries from his Pyro Vision must feel especially comforting after a night of frigid cold.

At her request, he sets her down next to the bed and steps back so that she can change without him in the way. That she picks one of his shirts to sleep in fall in line with his expectations. It's close to her, and it's another bit of comfort she can find in him. Plus... she tends to steal them quite often.

He doesn't mind.]

Mm? What is it, Ori?

[She presses back into him, and he immediately wraps an arm around her.]

I love you. I'm so lucky to have you.

[ Her arms wrap around him in turn as she maneuvers them onto their bed. As she lays beside him, her hand finds its way into long locks of red hair, soothing both him and herself with the way she gently combs her fingers through. ]

Will you talk to me until I'm too tired to keep talking and fall asleep? I'm... Scared. That if I close my eyes, I'll keep seeing those nightmares. So... Please...?

[Oh, his heart. With a request as genuine and heartbreaking as that, how can he say no?]

Of course, Ori. I'll talk as long as you need.

[As the settle in, he begins to tell her about Mondstadt. He keeps the topics light and simple, typically focusing on day to day minutia - collecting seashells, his childhood pet tortoise, the best time of year to pick grapes, the endless debates of what flower, exactly, a Windblume is...

He keeps talking long after he suspects she's fallen asleep, hoping that he can somehow influence her to have pleasant dreams of opens skies and gentle winds. After the frozen hell she's been through tonight, she deserves that kind of peace as she sleeps.]

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